Set Healthy Boundaries and Take Back Control of Your Life
Published October 8, 2023
Have you ever heard of the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. If not, you want to know about this book because it is a game-change in recovery. This book has a 4.7 out of 5 rating out of 25,125 reviews on Amazon and it's understandable why it has helped over 4 million people learn when to say yes and how to say no in order to take control of their lives. Learning to set healthy boundaries takes a lot of work and to learn how to set healthy boundaries, Boundaries is a useful resource.
Boundaries is an important book. Whether you are a survivor of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, or of neglect (physical or emotional), this book is a great resource because, as the authors note, whenever there is abuse and neglect, there are boundary problems.
With abuse, your no was not respected. You may have said "no" or "stop," but the abuser still did what he (and in some cases, she) wanted to do and continued to take advantage of you. It is likely that this put you in a position of victimization and you developed a learned helplessness in which you felt that you had no control over your life. You had to do what others wanted, even if you didn't want to, and more often than not, your only mode of survival was to put their needs first and your needs last.
In healing and recovery, it's critical to learn to set healthy boundaries. The book Boundaries is a great tool that teaches how to set healthy boundaries, when to say yes, how to say no, and take back control of your life.