How to Improve Your Parenting Skills: Know Your Parenting Style

Published October 14, 2023

One of the best ways to improve your parenting skills is to know your parenting style.

Very Well Family notes that knowing your parenting style is important because the way we raise our children can affect everything from their self-esteem, to how they get along with other people, to their mental health. There are 4 parenting styles. Each parenting style has its own name and characteristics. Here is an overview.

Authoritarian Parenting (Disciplinarian)

Authoritarian parents are strict disciplinarians. They are known to make statements such as "Because I said so," and believe that children should be seen and not heard. When it comes to rules, authoritarian parents believe it's "my way or the highway'. They don't consider their child's feelings.

Authoritative (or Active) Parenting

Authoritative (or active) parenting takes a "let's talk about it" approach. Authoritative parents put a lot of effort into establishing and maintaining a positive relationship with their children. They explain the reasons for their rules. They enforce rules and give consequences but are sensitive to their child's feelings. Authoritative parents respect their children's opinions while maintaining healthy boundaries.

Permissive (or Indulgent) Parenting

Permissive (or indulgent) parents take a "let's be friends" approach. Permissive parents give their child whatever he or she wants. Permissive parents set rules but rarely enforce them. They don't often give consequences. They avoid confrontation. There is little discipline.

Uninvolved (Neglectful) Parents

Uninvolved (Neglectful) Parents are emotionally uninvolved. They don't ask their children about school or homework, and rarely know where their child is or who they are with. Uninvolved (neglectful) parents don't spend much time with their child.  

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According to Very Well Family, most of us don't fit neatly into a single parenting style, but rather use a combination of styles to raise our children. What is important and wise is to think about our children and what they need from us at certain times and give them what they need. 

For example, you may NOT typically use an authoritarian parenting style, but there may be times in your child's life when that style is needed. Or you might be more permissive but find that your children sometimes need more of an authoritative (active) parenting style. 

Some parenting styles have been shown to be more effective than others. Authoritative (Active Parenting) is thought to be the most effective. To learn more about parenting styles, read the full article from Very Well Family 4 types of Parenting Styles and How Children are Affected.